i am insane

i am definitely insane

i am definitely insane

we watched this grey’s and this woman’s heart stopped beating and her husband couldn’t handle it and started pushing it to make it beep and i think we got really triggered or something we flased on the dream where we gave eva cpr and then there was this like wierd idea like she had died was dead and we tried to resustate her and couldn’t and it was too late and she was gone and we felt crazy upset for a second but far away it was

but that is crazy e*a is right here.  people say wierd things like she died and was replaced with someone else that is CRAZY we are CRAZY we are CRAZY it just upset us for a little we barely feel it now except maybe a little that is INSANE

nononoNO nononoNO nonononotevanoteva

it’s gone  it’s gone now  maybe we just can’t write it

i am insane i am insane i am insane

coming back from the dead is a big thing in buffy.  in fact, it’s really wierd when someone impotant dies and DOESN’T come back.  but that only works for mystical deaths, not like human ones like with guns.

we are crazy we are crazy we are crazy we are cray

we see eva like on a bed like sleeping beauty like there is lace hanging she looks like a princess she is dead she is dead already we couldn’t save her says someone she is dead already we couldn’t save her says someone she is dead already we couldn’t save her says someone she is dead already we couldn’t save her says someone she is dead already we couldn’t save her

what the fuck?  are we the prince?  how fucked up is that?  but it feels like she needs cpr.  or something.  i am INSANE and creepy and bad and evil and wrong and horrible and should be punished.

i don’t know, the image is just very clear or something.  or strong.  we are making this up we are making this up we are making this up we are making this up.

but i do know it is too late to save her and it is our fault she is dead.  we just, we can’t handle it.  we can’t.  like when the doctors thought mom had cancer and she was so scared and we died inside and freaked out and kind of fell apart

nononononononono fairy tales.  i took a class on fairy tales.  2.  in one we rewrote them.  i am bad i am a bad girl

is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her is too late can’t save her

what is wrong with me?  (flash of swat library)  why am i making things up?  just to be cool i guess.  all the cool kids were ritually abused, all the cool kids were programmed, all the cool kids were in cults (make more money as a leader, have more fun as a follower)

i am a bad girl i know it we need to eat but there is nothing here left we want should go shopping don’t want cold raining don’t want but need food i member *efanie used get stuff us that was nice we liked  that s*ef took care of us  e*in acted like she did but she didn’t actually do that much really she was budybusy girl so impotant balhblahblah we hate her anyway stupid

that princess stuff is sick and creepy and i am sick and creepy and i hate myself SO MUCH for it SO MUCH creepy creepy that is my SISTER creepy creepy girrl is a bad girl i know it  i know it i know it i know it i know it know it i know it

really need eat get food

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help i’m scared

someone keeps saying that

help i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared i’m scared

we had a body thing like friday i think where our head was pushed one side other side then back and something about razers and maybe needles stuck in our neck  who knows

help i’m scared and they’re gathering in help i’m scared they’ll find me they are so close they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll find me they’ll fing mr they’ll find me they will they will help help help help help (flash of parrish)

help help help they’re going to get me it’s better to be got then to be scared and waiting for itahead of the flames

okay, if we are honesthonest we almost see people closing in and the only one we can see clearly is a witch with gray hair that is wiry but there’s a lot of it and it’s crazy and the face looks like it should be a mask cuz it’s like long nose and everything.  that is crazy we are crazy.

when we were little we used to imagine that we were a witch (who wrote that? what?  did we do that?)

but we did spend like a year using every wish to wish that we were a witch so we could move things with our mind.  it was wierd because the word kinesthesia came up in our head and we asked m*riad and it’s not a real word but they said it would mean something like moving things with your mind.  i was just really lazy and hated to get up to get things.

i am scared.  someone is very scared.  i am scared.  someone is very scared. also wes feelin so sleepy all the time and exhausted and can’t do nothin tho we played guitar and finished a song we like we are so stupid i want us to die

cauldren and witches  that is *crazy* *crazy* 3 witches by a cauldron *crazy* by the crib *crazy* *crazy* i am crazy i am ccrazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crazy i am crzy i am crazy i am crazy i am crzy i want ot die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to ide die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to die hwlp help help help help help help i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared  i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i am so scared i a m so scared i am so scared i am so scared help help help hlep help help help help help help help help help helphelp help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help help

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