plus i am an idiot and woke up really sad and unloved

and still sad about m*riad and they emailed and said this girl they made out with in this hospital is visiting and wants to see them and they are all excited and we felt sad and like oh and i guess it just wasn’t the right time or something we just felt sad cuz we already knew they didn’t love us so it was maybe more sad then.  i don’t know.  it was sad and we are sad.

help i’m scared says someone and i don’t know if that’s worse than sad or what.  i don’t know.  our whole body hurts.  things are tough and thick the air is mollases everything is bad and horrible and alone and sad we just smoke and smoke it all away and turn on the tv no more no more of this nonsense.

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highest highs

someone started singing this in our head and we managed to play (and sing more importantly because it is a high-pitched song, we were trying to like remember how to float above the note like in chorus) it pretty close to what we were hearing. anyway, we liked it *a lot* so we recorded it and here it is.  there is a pause (a brief intermission really) for us to clear our throat and drink water and cough.  feel free to do the same.

highest highs

the music (not the content) reminds me of this song from godspell that we love(d) so much.  we would sing it to ourselves in front of the mirror.  it has beautiful harmonies.  it’s like violins.  we used to get so lost in songs from musicals. for hours on end.  we stopped cuz no one we lived with liked them really at all but some of us still listen to them sometime.  it’s perfect cuz it’s a story like a play and also it’s like a song and so it has all the music and voice and stuff to evoke stuff.

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