someone is very upset and keeps yelling

helphelphelp i’m going to commit suicide helphelphelp i’m going to commit suicide

so that’s happening.  i assume the mania is a side-effect/biproduct/distraction of/from something horrible underneath because now our whole body is tensing freaking out tensing freaking out help help help help


a good day

so we heard someone singing this line in our head so we tried to make it happen on the guitar. we’ve been talking with m*riad about how we write music and i think often we here a few lines sung in our head and then play and improvise a while. usually more than once. but it made me wonder, doesn’t everyone here new music composed in their head all the time? rock, acoustic, punk, musical-type, sung by one or many, with an orchestra sometimes? i don’t know, i thought that happened with everyone. some of us suspest that music may be like tied in with our programming (if we have any) or abuse or whatever and wonder if the songs we “make up” are somehow just from that or products of that. which wouldn’t make them bad, it would make them MORE cool. right? totally cool.

good day (the 1m20s “finished product”)

the making of good day (~12 minutes of improvising)

the finished product is actually edited out of the bigger file, i just took the stuff i liked best and put it together. i do this a lot because one part writes a song and we don’t really know it and so if we record them andf all they’re playing then even if we don’t remember we can edit together a song or the begining of one. we actually use soundtrack much more than finalcut, but they came together {that’s what he said} so it’s all good. who used the curlies there?

it’s actually pretty reppettetive, but we kind of have to keep singing the same thing til we can get to the right place and another line.  this song is actually just one line, tho, so it’s an especially odd example of this.  previous stuff we’ve posted is probably more accurate.  it’s scary stuff, tho, cuz i think it’s how stuff gets around our censors.

help help help i’m scared help i’m scared

help help help

someone underneath is really upset i think.  making us nauseous and maybe sick and definitely dizzy.  dammit, dammit dammit dammit.

help i’m scared.

they keep saying they are suicidal and i’m like then fucking die already insread of talking about it you bitch!!

and our back and neck hurt so much and we don’t know if it’s cuz of the emotions or memories or if we should go get adjusted but it’s fucking expensive we should die i want to die

this is so totally scary.  we are getting closer with the dreams.  closer closer.

i think i am going to die

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