we got $50 from either our mother or sister

e*a dropped off some groceries we asked for and this cool m&m thing and in it wrapped in paper said “Elizabeth” once on the card and once on the pacakge just twice same hand writing we knew it but we didn’t know whose it wwas. isn’t that nice? we are so lucky. seriously it is nice. and maybe we is just daze-y for no reason disoriented and scared can’t be scared can’t be scared c an’t be scared can’t make things up can’t make it all up you bitch can’t make it all up can’t think about it don’t think about it you won’t want to think about it it will be worse much worse a million times worse don’t think about it

but it was just a nice present.


*oh* the money was from barb (the aunt) says eve.  so *that’s* the hand-writing.  *that’s* the trigger.  i see it every xmas.  it was just wierd it was just my name twice.  i don’t know.  it felt like it called to me somehow.  i am crazy.  i want to die i am so sad and alone.


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