m*riad and us talked

i think wes are really similar.  both of us are constantly striving for the other’s love/apporval and (in their own mind) never getting it.  i don’t really know what to do about it.  we both have mom issues triggered big time, tho these are not my usual mom issues cuz those involve feeling suffocated they are early childhood stuff i think

i don’t know what to do about it. we trigger each other so much, it’s like a katamari in the candy level just bouncing around hitting everything getting bigger and bigger.  it’s like avoiding the cow and cow-colored objects.

i can’t help but feel responsable. i am so bad at handling my triggers, at showing them, i am so new to it so i do it badly, with many defenses, i can’t show my fear and vulnerability mostly and only cometimes speak of it.

panda girl

i hope they want to work on it.  cuz we do.  but e*in didn’t but she said she did but she didn’t she was tired of it already.  we think that maybe we could try to think of ways to handle expressing our triggers or like something like a game or i don’t know something like a phrasing or a something.  i don’t know.  i am a bitch.  i want to die.

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