i think in a lot of ways i feel like i need to never be weak

especially show it, but even to feel it.  like i was just emailing with e*a and she was like sorry to be creepily emailing so much and i was all big sistery and like oh no i like it and i just won’t respond if i can’t but what i was REALLY thinking was oh i’m scared too you’ll think i’m bad for not emailing back so i don’t think yuo’re bad for emailing maybe you don’t htink i’m bad for emailing back?  but i coudln’t be that with e*a.  be that young and weak and stuff and like look like i need to be taken care of.  i can’t do that.  it would be mean or rude ot her soemhow. it would be bad.

scared scared we are so scared it is so cold we are so scared we don’t know what to do we have to do things we can’t we don’t know what ot do.  wow it is so scary so cold so cold back of our neck arms legs so cold so cold.

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