ok, i’m not supposed to complain like this

but eva just emailed me again to print.  and like

okaym i actually just went off and did the stuff for her and am putting together the email so that’s that

i guess i don’t know quite how to explain how much my mom taught me it was my responsability to take care of the people i’m supposed to take care of.

different people are out.  who want hot cider.  who sit with no clothes wrapped in the new soft blue blanket we just got.

bitch girl!!!

anyway, we is little and good posed be good try it feels like we is in new york it’s cold outside andn we’s inapartment i don’t know like another one maybe or something something something something something ncie similar look similar

worried girl is bad girl

i don’t know anymore what we’s wriing it changed we wants needs get more food not yet bad girl you stupid bitch bad girl want die want edi want die want die want die want die want die want die want die want die

woke up for 8 like around 7:38 maybe doin that lot lately that time round 7:30 tween that and 8 is our like crazy wake up early  time we did for the longest time during the breakdown.  like we were just an early bird.  it makes our body feel pretty shitty, but we offten aren’t tired anough to sleep more.

last night me myriads we played songs back forth it was rewy fun and we liked it a-lot and they said like we was good and that was nice i thought ummmmmmmmmm we is little umumumumumum tiny bear is tintititnytinytinytiny tiny tiny tiny tiny tiny bear gotta dance all around bear bear dance bear yeah dance all around bear!! yeah dance like the little bear she is a bear to dance and dance and dance (all sung in a little song)

babababab

ababulhah

cuddles  this bear runs on cuddles

ti-ny ti-ny ti-ny hungry but nothin here we want is cold outside like new york crazy we is so crazy so that we is crazy

also we went pike place had a rew good muffin buberry and ated it and also splitted cinnamon role with myriad ummmmmmm we got a soft blanket ummmm they kept us safe no one hurt us

ababababa bear ababababa bear.

wes GOTTA do paperwork today wes keep forgettin or like just not doin it we is so bad we is worse than EVERYBODY got to handle also food benefits gotta fax testmasters stupid bitch

i honestly think i am going to start crying hysterically i mean wow we have so much to do and we just don’t do it we don’t do ANYTHING

i just.  it is hard to be less functional than EVERYONE you know.  i mean, i guess i’ve always been that way.  but i was functioning a fair amount.  ahhh, i don’t know why this is bugging us so much.

we are a bad and stupid bitch

it is shocking but writing about how impossible it is to do helps a bit, at least for a second

we’ve just had a lot of people out who are super critical of our smoking and time wasting and we hear about it ALL THE TIME and feel guilty and pointless ALL THE TIME and sometimes we can smoke enough to drown them out, but they are always there tensing our muscles and they weren’t around for a while like this at least so we weren’t prepared it is awful they make us feel so bad so bad they stand on our shoulders and yell in our ears and we know we are bad and wasting our time

myriad is here!!

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