purchased on ebay in the last 24-48 hours

1/2 lb (2000-3000 stones) of blue lace agate: $10 ($5 + $5 for shipping)
1/2 lb (~120 stones) of small advanturine: ~$5 ($1.84 for the stones plus a combined shipping discount with the blue lace agate, supra.)
5 lithium ion batteries for imac remote and digital drug scale: $2.99 (free shipping)
SNES analog audio/video cable (so i can [...]

i have no idea whether this is apprpriate or not

but m*riads told me once that the only (best?) defense they had was to tell and tell and tell.  and so in that vein… i guess if it’s inappropriate i’ll find our and decide what to do from there.
so here is what i think.  i think that a lot of parts of a*ron that used [...]

this is not an entry i want to write

okay. let’s start there. this is not an entry i want to write. i am writing it, but i don’t want to be. someone started basically dictating it in our head and i was like fine i’ll write it out cuz maybe then we’ll get somewhere and they’ll shut up.
okay.  so [...]

who am i kidding?

if m*riad is running away, then i picked them because they would be running away.  and would probably freak out if they weren’t.  i mean, let’s be honest, that would be pretty part for the course (who the fuck wrote part instead of par?).  anyway, we aid our cable bill today so we won’t have [...]

we have to make a*ron happy we have to make it ok

we should just have sex with him.  it really wouldn’t be that big of a deal and i bet that would make him happy and we’d be good and he’d bo happy and not hruting cua we thought th might try stuff with us.  we don’t want him to hurt don’t want that wanna make [...]

okay, this is a seriously embarassing entry, but i’m going to write it anyway

so m*tt was here (already you can tell this is a teenager or preteen) and we just, wow this is seriously more embarassing than i thought it would be.  it is so odd what is embarassing for us.  i guess all or almost all admissions of embarassment, guilt, and/or shame.
blah okay.  so i am supposed [...]

it is so cold in the apartment

help help i’m scared something is going on e*a wrote emails she feels our pain alot and she understands why we need to be away and we aren’t disappointing her and she wants to know if she can help.  it is colder and colder.  colder and colder.  she is scared we are going to kill [...]

heehee m*riad said this thing about

how they had never really appreciated how well we use humor to get out of awkward and tense situations by deflecting or distracting because they are usually not trying to do those things.  but then when they WERE they like could totally see how like we can just say something crazy and funny and just [...]

okay so m*riad made an interesting point

cuz like we realized we was maybe triggered or somethinand wes ated a candy and 2 potato chips tonight feelin sick maybe oops we’s just tryin help form the pain stop it hurtin wes tryin run helphelp
on another note, omigod i have decided that saying “it would be better if you did such-and-such” has about [...]

sometimes i think my mom just tried to build in safeties

like she made us petrified of death, made it clear that it would kill her if we died, and basically i think tried to hardwire us against killing ourselves.
and i think she did the same thing with cutting or self-abuse.  we are petrified of marring our skin with a scar.  like we can’t do that, [...]