i have no idea whether this is apprpriate or not

but m*riads told me once that the only (best?) defense they had was to tell and tell and tell.  and so in that vein… i guess if it’s inappropriate i’ll find our and decide what to do from there.
so here is what i think.  i think that a lot of parts of a*ron that used [...]

this is not an entry i want to write

okay. let’s start there. this is not an entry i want to write. i am writing it, but i don’t want to be. someone started basically dictating it in our head and i was like fine i’ll write it out cuz maybe then we’ll get somewhere and they’ll shut up.
okay.  so [...]

(…)

someone inside says “i cried hysterically”

like they are narrating. who knows. i know we are triggered. i know we are bad. i know we are a bad girl. i know i want to die and am a bad girl. iknow i want to die because i’m a bad girl. i know these things [...]

i would just like to say, for the record,

that clearly i am treating m*riad like my mother whom i need to save or they’ll leave me. i just want to say that at least some of us are aware of that and trying to keep it in mind. i know it affects us and i know it makes us too reliant [...]

Protected: so we had a long talk with m*riad

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

who am i kidding?

if m*riad is running away, then i picked them because they would be running away.  and would probably freak out if they weren’t.  i mean, let’s be honest, that would be pretty part for the course (who the fuck wrote part instead of par?).  anyway, we aid our cable bill today so we won’t have [...]

Protected: i just need to keep reminding myself

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

m*riad and us talked

i think wes are really similar.  both of us are constantly striving for the other’s love/apporval and (in their own mind) never getting it.  i don’t really know what to do about it.  we both have mom issues triggered big time, tho these are not my usual mom issues cuz those involve feeling suffocated they [...]

i am sad and small and scared

i know i am a bad girl.  i know that for sure.  i know i am bad very bad and scared.  i know things are not safe and not what they appear to be.  i know that no one is safe.  i know that i am not safe.  i know that i don’t know things [...]