this is not an entry i want to write

okay. let’s start there. this is not an entry i want to write. i am writing it, but i don’t want to be. someone started basically dictating it in our head and i was like fine i’ll write it out cuz maybe then we’ll get somewhere and they’ll shut up.
okay.  so [...]

plus i’m smoking like a chimney

staying up late but not often able to sleep in. um plus we’ve lost perspective says someone. it hink the snow is triggering which is crazy cuz it meant a snow day which mean ti didn’t have to go to school which was the best thing. but i really didn’t skip. [...]

what we did today

- took out the trash for the first time in probably over a week
- did the laundry for the first time in over 2 weeks and i think it might be 3 or 4.
we are thinking about taking a shower to complete the trifecta of cleanliness.
we are clearly avoiding *something* here.

a good day

so we heard someone singing this line in our head so we tried to make it happen on the guitar. we’ve been talking with m*riad about how we write music and i think often we here a few lines sung in our head and then play and improvise a while. usually more than [...]

i am going to die

i have so much to do and i can’t get it done.  it’s serious, people!!  this is like $3000 dollars i will owe uw if i don’t handle this.  dammit dammit dammit.  plus the apartment stuff. plue the food money stuff.  dammit dammit dammit i am horrible.

for the record

i have the following to do.  all very important.  all over due.

tuition forfeiture petition so i’m not charged $3200 by the law school
get form from testm so i can get my $93 in food benefits for this month (or some part of it)
get in apartment cert so i don’t get evicted

so that would be money, [...]

heehee m*riad said this thing about

how they had never really appreciated how well we use humor to get out of awkward and tense situations by deflecting or distracting because they are usually not trying to do those things.  but then when they WERE they like could totally see how like we can just say something crazy and funny and just [...]

do you know what i hate?

i haate that i am too fucking scared to fucking even hear the sounds of happy people because excited or angry they all scare me i am too fragile.  and i am so ashamed.  so ashamed because i am supposed to be better than that.  i am supposed to be stronger.  i am not weak [...]

wow, how worthless am i?

it is 6pm and i haven’t done anything.  i have to get this paperwork done.  i am going to die.  i am going to die.

point/counterpoint

what we are supposed to be doing: our paperwork
what we are actually doing: looking at the bed, bath, and beyond website cuz we got a $10 off $30 coupon in the mail
what a fucking jerk.