but m*riads told me once that the only (best?) defense they had was to tell and tell and tell. and so in that vein… i guess if it’s inappropriate i’ll find our and decide what to do from there.
so here is what i think. i think that a lot of parts of a*ron that used [...]
December 27, 2008
Categories: stream-of-consciousness . Tags: being an abuser, body, circling birds, dark things, e*a and me, feeling crazy, inter-system communication, needing people, nobody loves me, programming(?), protective/possessive, scareded, self-hating, talking about things we don't want to talk about . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment
December 23, 2008
Categories: pcture/graphic, update . Tags: being an abuser, being good, being hard on ourselves, being in control, circling birds, feeling crazy, inter-system communication, nobody loves me, programming(?), scareded . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment
we got all triggerred last nigth cuz m*riad basically told us that they were doing *us* a favor by letting us go with them to therapy and plus they already told us it’s like we’re not there cuz we don’t talk enough. it is so embarassing cuz i thought we were really helping and trying [...]
December 20, 2008
Categories: stream-of-consciousness, trying to figure something out . Tags: being an abuser, being bad, being clingy/needy, being good, being good enough, being good to be around, mom, scareded, self harm, self-hating, smoking . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment
(laughs) why? cuz his “bad” parts have been detected and done “tangibly wrong” things? that’s fucking luck, people. that is fucking. luck.
what? does m*riad think we make these ideas out of thin air? that we just *guess* at how he might be thinking as a sweet little innocent victim?
we know because we have those parts [...]
December 18, 2008
Categories: stream-of-consciousness . Tags: being an abuser, being bad, body, circling birds, dark things, scareded . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment
we were talking to m*riad’s littles and they said they felt like they’d never be good enough for us because we were always upset with them so it was never safe and how it made them so sad. and i just listened, and tried to explain, and took it all in because this was gospel. [...]
December 4, 2008
Categories: stream-of-consciousness . Tags: being a destructive force, being an abuser, being bad, being good, being good enough, being hard on ourselves, being in control, defefenselessness, disarmed by sadness, feeling crazy, programming(?), responsability, taking care of people . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment
or actually it wasn’t wierd, but that was wierd because it shouldn’t be that common. or whatever.
anyway, we were with m*riad and we got turned on and then they wanted to go to sleep and we worried it was because they could tell we were turned on and were really threatened.
so know what? we ASK-ED.and [...]
November 20, 2008
Categories: stream-of-consciousness . Tags: (not) eating, being an abuser, being good enough, being good to be around, being hard on ourselves, circling birds, scareded, switching . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment
so spike is the main villain on buffy. he’s a vampire. which means he has no soul, kills people, you know, he’s a bad guy.
but then he gets this chip in this head (put in by the government actually) that causes him unbareable pain if he even tries to attack someone. so he is rendered [...]
November 14, 2008
Categories: talking about things we don't want to talk about . Tags: a story, being an abuser, being bad, being in control, circling birds, dark things, protective/possessive, s&m, scareded, self-hating, tv . Author: the edges . Comments: Leave a Comment